'Can you cry for no reason?'

I was sitting on the bus after a less than great day and I found myself quietly listening to the conversations around me.  I was particularly drawn to two children who were unknowingly exploring quite deep philosophical concepts.  Children are particularly good at exploring those issues and concepts that adults find annoying or purposeless.  One of the kids was rightly explaining to the other child that 'yes, you can change your name'.  The practical application of this realisation could cause a number of future headaches and an acute realisation that ultimately, our names mean nothing in themselves.  We are the concepts, feelings and momentum that they refer to.  The signifier is just that.  It's like a sign in a newsagent window offering something unknown until we bother to make the connection.

Anyhow, the exchange that engaged me most involved one of the children asking their friend or relative, 'Can you cry for no reason?'.  The other child asked, 'Shall we try?'  Then touchingly, the child who posed the original question stated that she didn't feel like crying real tears or something like that.  I thought about this short dialogue on my walk home and I have decided after plenty of thought that you cannot cry for no reason.

Crying is a natural human response to a whole variety of stimuli, both internal and external.  Sometimes, we cry as a reaction to an external object or substance such as cutting onions or dust.  On other occasions, the act of crying is as a result of our emotions.  Crying is always a positive thing despite the ingrained belief in men perpetuated by other men that 'boys shouldn't cry', due to its supposed association with weakness.  Thinking about it now, I guess the same stupid idea has also been applied to women too.  The sensible ones amongst us understand that crying provides a release.  But crucially, there is always a reason for crying even if it is not immediately obvious.  I think that explains why it is very difficult for actors to fake tears and extreme emotions.  There has to be a reason behind tears.  You can't force them.  You can stimulate them if you watch something that you know will upset you but even then, there is a reason.  You are setting out to experience this feeling of release or catharsis.

In the past when I cried, I saw it as a warning sign that I was not in a good place mentally.  Now as I have got older, I don't cry often but when I do or get close, I just see it as a positive physical act and another way to explore my feelings.

I want to salute those children for exploring one of the most complex emotions in quite a profound way and hope in the future that they remember their conversation.

Barry Watt - 8th April 2014